Speeches That Changed History. Speeches That DIDN'T Change History.

Speeches That Changed History.

I would like to report on an issue that has been left untouched for many years. The world has had many great speech writers over our short, but defined, history but much like aggressive foreign policy and teeth whitening the Americans are STREETS ahead of us Brits. What is not reported is that these writers only had one or two good speeches in them. Many of us are aware that some of the most heartfelt and moving speeches were written by someone other than the individual speaking the words. Those men and women are usually left nameless behind the stoic leaders of our generation. The story below will tell the tale of three famous speech writer’s you have never heard about and more importantly…their second speech.


Peter Gulch, “I have a dream…”, Given by Martin Luther King Jr. at the March of Washington

Now of course we all know this one. Written in a common format: Where we are now; where we want to be; where we are now; dreamed utopia etc… The opening line “I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation” is reminiscent of Stuart Pearce's rallying war cry at Euro 96 and will give many a reader the goosebumps. Many would say these were the best words ever written. Determination, love and freedom were key themes. The words “I have a dream…” spoken with conviction and dreamy eyed belief. It was magic. What we don’t hear about much is the second speech that Peter Gulch wrote for Dr. King later that year. This one did not go over as well. See excerpt below:

Peter Gulch, “Flags”, Given by Martin Luther King Jr on Flag Day 1963

“Flags?? Amiright? Hoo wow, dem tingz is PENG!. Stripes for days innit, some of them with bumps or stars or some shit, idk. But yeah, fo real I can’t get me enough of flags, fam. The other day I was in the flag shop trying to get me a stripey mother fucker and low and behold I got me a nice one! FLAGS, YEAH!!!! YAGETSMEH??!!”

Tracey Glue, “John F. Kennedy's Inaugural Address”, Washington D.C, 1961.

It goes without saying that these words delivered to the world in this speech were some of the most determined and impactful ever spoken. Not only did JFK put the world on notice that he would work to strengthen relationships with allies he would defend this nation and its values without hesitation (of course he was referring to the tensions with the Soviet Union at the time). The line “My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country” challenged all Americans to take responsibility for themselves and their neighbour. Something I feel their politicians may have forgotten today. Tracey Glue actually had a really good third speech that she wrote for Kennedy (see the 'space exploration speech' given to congress) but her second speech she penned for the president did not stand up to the muster of the previous and the latter. See below:

Tracey Glue, “Space?”, Given by John F. Kennedy, Boston, on a Wednesday.

“Let me begin by saying one word. One word is all I need to say this speech. Here it goes: Solar Systems! I am actually very sorry it seems as though that is two words. I actually think solar systems are great. Let’s look at the pros of them.
1). Earths are there (that is fantastic, right?).
2). Not only are they large but they can also be seen from SPACE!!! Hahaha, guys let’s get serious for a minute. We should go up there right? Solar systems are the shit bitches!!! For real though, I asked you all to do shit for your country…somebody go build me a mutha fuckin' space rocket!!! Lmao.”


Fred Mort, “On the Pulse of the Morning”, Maya Angelou, Clinton Inauguration, 1993.

Fred Mort was one of the most well-known speech writers but he loved dabbling in poetry and who better to deliver his verse other than the great American author, Maya Angelou. Although, more poetry than directed speech, these words lifted up the souls of, not only the Americans, but anybody that allowed themselves to dream. “So say the Asian, the Hispanic, The Jew, The African and Native American…”. We hear those words today and it reminds us, even here in northern England of the melting pot we live in. How, if it wasn't for our political discourse, we could, in a perfect world, live harmoniously with one each other. AND…if we tried really hard we could actually be happy about it. Of course…things didn’t go well for Mr. Mort on his next speech…

Fred Mort, “Large Penises”, Ron Jeremy, on set of “Plugged in the Butt 6”

“Ladies, I am going to need you to come over here and choke me. I am horny as hell and I am going to blow a load in like 8 seconds. You…over there! The one with the butt plug and large penis inside her, please bring me that bag of milk shakes over by my ass lube. Choke me SO MUCH!!!! By the way…who is chewing on my ass? Danielle? Wow seriously, great work, keep it up. Ok…its coming…I am going to blow, everybody hold out their cups this is going to be a big one…uhhhhhhhh….. BOOOM!!!!!”


If I had to choose a moral to this story it would be that speech writers should probably only write one speech. It’s not really a career, it’s more of a one off type of thing. Honestly, I don’t really understand words and the things that they mean.

Till next time.
Big love. Mark. X

Podcast #11. Cristiano? (Slow Motion/Wrong Era)

It's always nice to get something unsolicited so we jumped at the chance when Cristiano? offered to supply our podcast this month! Already a big fan of his output and with the sound of the brilliant mix he did for Ransom Note a few months back ringing in our ears we eagerly took delivery of this new selection.
Currently based out of New York's lower east side where his _Nothing Studio_ is based, Milan native Cristiano? has been steadily building up a head of steam as part of the disparate 'Slow Motion' crew. A lose collective of DJs, bands, musicians and live acts based between Pescara in Italy and Berlin.
Active since 2005 they've busied themselves organising and appearing at countless events like Wrong Era, Retro Futuro, East Coast Disco, Studio X, Bar Noir, Magic Waves and so on. Playing the best underground dance music, from obscure disco to house, space beats to more cosmic grooves. Showcasing the best of a new generation of Italian producers alongside some serious heavyweights of the scene.
After years of successfully staging these parties the next logical step came in 2009 when the 'Slow Motion Records' label was launched. The idea was to take the time to find the best possible Italian music that represents the sound the collective truly loves and the perfect soundtrack for the events and parties. Since then, alongside it's spin-off label in Berlin, 'Wrong Era', it has set the standard for new wave of Italian dance music!


As well as his work with Slow Motion and Wrong Era, Cristiano? has been beavering away making music himself and setting up his studio in New York and establishing a network and label for his own productions.
He's also been busy with a number of other things! His BALERA FM project, a live set of movie soundtracks, Italian progressive and psyche rock have material forthcoming and his band, 'Interzone' will be premiering a new EP too. Add to that a book of short stories and two collaborations with what we're promised are actual living legends and you have one very busy boy.
With that in mind, we're more than happy that Cristiano? has taken time out of his hectic schedule to put this brilliantly deep, hypnotic and percussive mix together for us. It really is a blinder!!

_NOTHING_ on Facebook.
Cristiano? on Soundcloud
Slow Motion Records on Soundcloud



Download the podcast from our Hearthis.at account below.



Till next time.
Big love. Mark. X

Dunsford IS the STARZZ!!!

Highly acclaimed astrologer, medium, intuitive healer, wastrel and general shitbastard, Daniel Dunsford charts your incredibly specific horoscopes for the month ahead. If you would like a more in-depth forecast please call 0800 965878 (calls cost £15 per minute).

Capricorn: You are going to have 12 children. Two of them will be born without a head. It will take you a while to bond with them because of this, but eventually you will learn to love them. One of them will even become your favourite. This child is very psychic but is unable to use his powers because as I said earlier, he doesn’t have a head.

Aquarius: Next year you will become clinically obese and you will have to have a wall removed and be lowered through the window with a crane. Then you will go on a diet where you will have a shake for breakfast and one for lunch and the weight will just fall off! Don’t do the Atkins, unless you want chronic arse gas.

Pisces: I don’t see any children. I’ve got a sneaky feeling you could be barren/firing blanks. But I wouldn’t worry, many women/men have a belly full of dust/a toy gun and they still manage to enjoy their lives to some extent. Look forward to what you can in life. Even if that’s just nap time.

Aries: You bought the cookbook 'Deliciously Ella' hoping that if you eat enough vegetables you will look like her. You won’t. You will still look like you (i.e. a waxen effigy of Danny La Rue) but with lovely pink intestines.

Taurus: You will fall out of a treehouse this week, hitting the ground so hard that your shinbones come out of the tops of your shoulders. What are you doing pricking around up treehouses anyway?

Gemini: You will find a Fabergé egg in the street this week. On closer inspection you will see it is actually a Cadbury Creme Egg. Do not eat it! Bill Cosby used to inject Creme Eggs with Quaaludes to lure in his victims.

Cancer: My guardian angel is telling me you have a small Japanese man who goes everywhere with you. His aura has attached itself to yours. This is why you keep setting the alarms off in shops.

Leo: Your metal detecting uncovers an ancient roman goblet. Get it on eBay before Tony Robinson gets his mucky paws on it. Your pet terrapin will crawl into the washing machine and narrowly survive a cool silk wash.

Virgo: You will be caught short on the London Eye, forcing you to relieve yourself in a champagne flute in front of a group of Japanese tourists. You are considering becoming a druid. Maybe grow the fuck up.

Libra: I’ve got a recently deceased old woman here and she’s telling me you fell off a horse when you were three months old, but I think she’s full of shit. If you are a chap, you will marry the Irish one from Girls Aloud. She has a habit of spitting at old people, but otherwise you will have a very happy life together.

Scorpio: I’d be very surprised if you didn’t end up being fucked ragged this week, or at the very least, interfered with on a shuttle bus. Wear pink to vibrate at a higher frequency.

Sagittarius: Your dog has been behaving like an arsehole again. Remind him that he is not insured and will never make it on his own. You will find a human hand in a Sainsbury’s trifle. You have definitely not won a prize.

Till next time.
I'M GREAT, ME! Dan. X

Technology corner, with 'Joff'.

We all know Joff as a Man Power. The mediocre record producer and an aggressively average, jet set disc jockey, yes. And of course his BALLOONING weight issues and his ongoing battle with cough medicine dependency are well documented too. But what we don't realise is that nothing makes him happier than when he's dispensing advice and facts about his favourite subject. Technology. So, as a favour to us he's agreed to impart a little of said wisdom on our readers so as such, we bring you, something we REALLY hope won't become a regular thing.
Hold tight mother fucker, it's ,,,,

JOFF'S SMARTPHONE CARE CORNER!!

1. "I spend a lot of my time on planes, trying to hold in a  massive piss. If you smartphone gets and piss on it, or gets dirty, or smells a bit 'pissy', bleach works but nothing purifies like a cleansing fire.
Disclaimer: Some applications may become and unstable after cleansing.

2. I sometimes get piss on my fingers making them slippy and as a result it's often difficult to hold a smartphone. If you drop your smartphone down the toilet, simply flush the chain. If it was meant to be, it will find it's way back to you. This always works for me.

3. I'm part piss goblin so sometimes piss myself in bed which wakes me up! However if you're NOT a piss goblin and if the thing waking you up is your smartphone nibbling on your neck, it has probably become a vampire. Immediately rub thoroughly with garlic and make your lock screen image a crucifix to repair.

4. When I'm out in the countryside it's pretty much assured that if I'm not pissing all over the wildlife then I'm more than likely indulging in another one of my hobbies, 'twitching'. No, not bird watching. I my body actually jerks uncontrollably whenever I'm within 5 meters of any type of woodland creature. I just love it!
However, if your smartphone hoots loudly and pecks at you with it's beak during use, it is probably not a smartphone at all and is in fact an owl. Unless Wi-Fi enabled, your owl will not be able to display even the most rudimentary apps and is unlikely to return ANY internet search results.

Well. I hope that's answered any technology related questions. I've had a great time and I'm sure you all have too. I'm off for a piss now. Laters.

Big love.
Joff. X



N/B: We promise that Joff will not be returning to this blog in any shape or form. X

Podcast #10. Bleaching Agent. (Perc Trax)

"Mercenary producer, bellend disc-jockey. Currently affiliated with Mira, Komisch, Opal Tapes and the like."

Shadowy techno producer 'Bleaching Agent' has not only been a favourite producer/DJ of mine for some years but he's also been a major fixture of British techno in various guises for almost a decade now! Whether that was through his wide-ranging solo work or with groundbreaking industrial stalwarts Forward Strategy Group, or the short-lived 'PC music' antagonists Blacknecks, he has consistently helped pave the way for the resurgence of the UK techno scene, releasing killer cuts on the likes of Kosmisch, Resin and of course Perc Trax.
Taking in everything from experimental techno stuff, noise, drone or industrial pieces. His DJs sets can range from the beautiful to the brutal. Drawing on synthpop, disco, noise, industrial and just about anything else that takes his fancy, he has earned a reputation as an engaging and shrewd selector. Both hypnotic and exhilarating.
These genre's are all touched on in the mix he's delivered for us. Stripped-back, cerebral 4x4 action sits comfortably alongside deep, blaring dancefloor fodder while he later delves into a murky world, inhabited by grungy beats and waves of noise - but it remains firmly rooted on the dance floor thanks to the razor sharp percussion.
But really, don't take our work for it! See for yourself!

Enjoy. X

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As ever, you can download the podcast from our 'Hearthis.at' profile simply by clicking the link below this.

Thoughts On Love & Smoking podcast #10. Bleaching Agent. (Perc Trax) by Thoughts On Love And Smoking on hearthis.at

Till next time.
Big love. Mark. X

It was 28 years ago today. Chuck D taught his band to play,,,,

The 14th of April. It's a landmark date for hip-hop and music in general for on this day in 1988, an album that expanded the boundaries of Hip Hop as a genre was released. That album is Public Enemy‘s 'It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back'. Riding high from the critical and slight commercial success of the group’s debut LP 'Yo! Bum Rush The Show', this second album was a momentous leap forward for Public Enemy and Hip Hop as a whole. The fact that the debut was a hit in the Hip Hop community but did not cross over into other audiences of music lovers caused the group to make some changes resulting in one of their most successful albums to date. Since then and for the most part, Hip-Hop provides us with clever, structured and well written lyrics dealing with all aspects of life. Things we can relate to, things that make us think. But what about when it goes wrong? Below are some of the worst Hip-Hop lyrics of all times.

Tupac Shakur - Gangsta Bait (1991)

"Livin in tha hood was a fuckin breeze,
Cos we always had a wide selection of cheese,
Cheddar, Stilton, Gorgonzola and Brie,
If you ain't eat your cheese then hey bitch more for me"

50 Cent - The poop in my Britches - (2004)

"I'm up in tha club, with all my best bitches,
But then I laugh too hard, now I got poop in my britches,
Poop in my britches, got that poop in my britches.
Dey wonderin' what that smell, yo it's the poop in my britches"

Kendrick Lamar - That pigeon be fartin' - (2012)

"I ain't got time to wonder how my life fell apart,
Cos I'm all like holy fuck, did that pigeon just fart?
It's sittin' on my window, with a look as if to say,
I just farted bitch you don't wanna fuck with me today"

Drake - Never let a bitch break UR balls - (2012)

"When I leaned in to kiss you, yo I leaned too far,
Cos gurl I fell into the road and I got hit by a car,
I broke my legs my skull my back gurl I'm fallin' apart,
But know this baby I will never break your heart"

NWA - BE NICE MUTHA FUCKER!! - (1992)

"Ay kids your teacher only tryna lead you down the right path,
You don't need guns and bitches, you need science and math,
Who need a long dick when you got long divison,
And always help yo mama when she in the kitchen"

Tyler the Creator - Damn y'all digital motherfuckers - (2011)

"Final Fantasy Seven, bitch this game can get stepping,
Cos I just can't beat the motherfuckin' Emerald Weapon,
I got Knights of the Round bitch and still I lose?
Gonna get myself online and check some FAQs"

Eminem - Marshal go boom-boom - (2013)

"Me make poopy noises,
Me make poopy noises,
(3 minute soundbite of sloppy fart and poop noises)
Kim Hailee blah blah blaaaaaaah
(6 more minutes of even sloppier fart and poop noises)
Marshall make poopy noises"

Kanye West & Jay Z - Say goodbye mother fucker - (2012)

Kanye - "You hang up"
Jay Z - "No you hang up"
Kanye - "No you hang up"
Jay Z - "No you hang up"
Kanye - "No you hang up"
Jay Z - "No you hang up"
(Continues for 8 minutes)
Kanye - "Actually I don't wanna hang up. I wanna listen to you sleep"
Jay Z - "That sounds delightful"
(Snoring noises)

(Just to prove it's not always been horribly over produced & autotuned shit, here's my old 86 - 92  mix to remind you of hip-hop's golden age. X.)
Till next time.
Big love. Mark. X

The best DJ you've (probably) never heard of #6. Steele Bonus.

Probably better known in business circles for his work as a graphic designer, Steele Bonus is a Sydney native currently based in Amsterdam working primarily in the fields of branding, web design, print design and art-direction. However, for the sake of this piece we'll be focussing more on his, er, 'weekend based' projects as a DJ and record collector who for the past decade and a half has been playing and organising parties around Sydney as well as traveling the world to dj and search for records. Currently working out of the Dutch capital, he's been making contributions to labels like ESP Institute, Italians Do It Better, Future Classic, Noncollective and Noise In My Head among others.
His legendary mix series, 'Odd Waves' famously evolved into the physical form of a small publication and mix CD which sold out at stores around the globe from Red Light Records in Amsterdam to colette in Paris. Taking in a wide range of styles and genres from psych rock to industrial boogie, african drums and hypnotic house. Deftly and meticulously showcasing the old and the new with the obscure and the classic.  The series chronicles the rogue sub-culture of pop art punks, disco weirdos and synthesists from 1979-1985. Celebrating overlooked and forgotten new wave oddballs, the publication provides a glimpse into the lost scene through a collection of photo portraits, with a foreword by Michael Kucyk. Packaged with an exclusive one hour mix CD featuring the artists within and was limited to 300 copies it's become something of a cult rarity.

Anyhow, hopefully you can treat this as a starting point for a journey of discovery through some of Steele's mixes and it points you in the direction of some spanking new musical treasures!

Steele Bonus on Soundcloud.
Website.
Blog.
Odd Waves CD and Book.



Till next time.
Big love. Mark. X