Sport. Whats wrong with it and how to fix it.

Two large men throwing each other around on some canvass, ahh, wrestling. You may laugh at the big men in spandex tights, but the World Wrestling Entertainment Inc. may just be changing the sporting world!

You do not have to be in possession of a Jewelers eyepiece to work out that its fake. Nor do you have to be working for the Department Of Waste Disposal to know that its rubbish! Indeed, following a court ruling in 1999, American wrestling as then represented by the WWF and Co, could not be called a sport - it has to describe itself as 'sports entertainment'. And yet this more profitable perversion of sport, may, just may, have hit upon the future of sport as we know it. Before getting to the beef, and for the benefit of anyone whos spent the last five years in Mosul, lets remind ourselves of what World Wrestling Entertainment Inc has actually done. Under the stewardship of ex-grappler Vince McMahon, a spectacle in which medical freaks like Andre the giant lumbered around a ring in pursuit of a fat man in swimming trunks, has been transformed into one of the biggest entertainment concerns on the planet. Mostly this great metamorphosis has been achieved by appealing to the very basest instincts of man. In the weekly drama that surrounds the actual wrestling, plotlines that would shame Shakespeare at his most outrageous have been played out with scant regard for the intelligence of the viewer, or the moral health of society. People have been kidnapped and families have been ripped apart, and the ownership of the entire circus changes hands more often than a Q-reg BMW in Scotswood. In one particularly memorable plot, McMahon had his long suffering wife Linda - that weeks proprietor of the whole shebang - drugged and stuck in a loony bin; he then went to visit her with the sole intention of flaunting his nubile assistant in front of his chemically incapacitated spouse. One of the innovations that really put wheels under the WWE in the last 10 years was the introduction of fleets of softcore pornstars who double up as unlikely partners for the drooling monsters of the squared circle, and who themselves occasionally take part in some of the most ludicrous events to happen under the umbrella of the martial arts. My favourite was the evening gown matches, in which two or more of these survivors of a Russ Meyer wet dream scrabbled at each other until one, or preferably all, of the pretty party frocks were ripped off to reveal cubic yards of fake-tanned flesh and bikinis that wouldn't decently cover Barbie. Just how successful this cocktail of bash, cash and flash has become can be judged by the enormous audiences, both live and TV, these performances attract on both side sof the Atlantic. Think about the merchandising and endorsement opportunities. Two WWE autobiographies, Mick 'Mankind' Foley's 'Have A Nice Day! A Tale Of Blood And Sweatsocks!' and The Rock's' The Rock Says', trail only Dennis Rodmans 'As Bad As I Wanna Be', as the best selling sports books in history. Not to mention that Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson is now the biggest and baddest cinema box office draw on the planet. His films grossing billions and his rumored movie paycheck is currently only behind that of Tom Cruise and Robert Downey Junior. But its not the theatrics of WWE that presents a danger to the future of real sports, but rather the profoundly clever thing that McMahon and Co worked out. Wrestling, they decided, had something the everyone loved, men kicking the shit out of each other, but the good bits were separated by too much padding, i.e. the actual grappling and wrestling. Their stroke of genius was then to remove the tedious bits, and now each short match consists of only high risk, high violence manoeuvres, performed at the very edges of what the bodies of these incredibly athletic rhinos can tolerate. Phenomenal dives from unlikely perches onto the prone bodies of opponents are the new wrestling's stock trade. It may be as much like traditional Saturday afternoon grip n' grapple with Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks as chalk and Dairylea, but the punters love it. Non of which has gone unnoticed by the suits who run our other sports. They all, of course talk of protecting the integrity of the games they oversee, while all the time envying the profile and money-generating power of this steroid dripping, genetically modified version of wrestling. You only need to look at the meteoric rise of MMA and the multi-millionaires of the UFC. The pressure brought to bear by the ultimate paymaster, television, will cause further unrest. It doesn't take too much imagination to see how other sports might one-day be repackaged with all the non-essential bits removed. Football (or Soccer) has already gone some way down this road in America. Penalty shoot-outs after every match that ends normal time in a draw, are an attempt to solve the problem of how to squeeze the blood of results from the stone of a game whose unit of scoring is too rare for the good ol US of A. Athletics however, is less well set up to take advantage of the wrestling phenomenon, most of its events get to the point double-sharp. The exceptions are the log distance track races, where we are forced to endure several loping laps of the circuit before the inevitable sprint finish. Here's my suggestion; Make the runners do the first 9800 metres (the part of a normal 10,000 meters spent in tactical jogging) on treadmills in the warm up area, then wheel them straight into the stadium and make them run the last 200 metres as a competitive sprint. I'll leave the rest to your imagination. Formula One on a Northumbria Bus skidpan (It makes no difference, even in a coma, Schumacher would still win with one hand on the wheel and a mobile phone jammed between his ear and shoulder); cricket, where the only delivery allowed is the a bodyline style bouncer and the only scoring shot is the big slog for six; beach volleyball without the pretence of bikinis you know the sort of thing. Maybe one day a terribly dressed pikey who you'd never heard of 2 years ago could fight Floyd Mayweather and it be the biggest pay per view box office draw the world had ever seen? Maybe the new discipline could even be applied to daily newspapers sports columns. Cut the shite about Paul Pogba's latest bust up, bullshit transfer speculation and general cackle, and cut straight to the chase, every day would just consist of some combination of the following words: first half, clash, blood, genius, great, agony, shock, rival, defeat, glory, sex, groin, strain, fiasco, transfer, dope, test, backhander, and errrr, Paul Pogba!



Thought we'd give you a bit of music to go with the words this time round, and as it's been a while since we posted I thought we'd slip you something a bit special. A live recording of TOLAS fav, Vladimir Ivkovic playing alongside Finnish wunderkind Lauri Soini (more on him in the coming weeks) at the Flow Festival in Helsinki, and it's an absolute beauty. Enjoy. X

Till next time.
Big love. Mark. X

Nepotism for a better life: Force Majeure.

In a move to fulfill any outstanding contractual obligations I may have forgotton about in the weeks since we last posted, I thought it best to mention the fact that my close personal friend, young Michael Sweeney aka Force Majeure, who just happens to be one quarter of the mob that I run the Body Talk parties with here in Newcastle has just released a fab new record on the equally fab 'Sulk Magic' imprint, which just happens to be run by Jo 'Bird of Paradise' Howard, who is also one quarter of the mob that I run the aforementioned Body Talk parties with! (I assume Clark, the remaining piece of the Body Talk puzzle has been up to something equally exciting all this time, too).
The title track 'Overawed' mesmerises with it's low-slung undulating electronics, acid flashes and arpeggio rhythms. A certified 3 AM, red light burner. 'Cheap Thrills' then accelerates proceedings with unfussy drums and robotic, bleep heavy melodies driving it off into a wonderfully off kilter, left of field crescendo. The release comes with heavyweight support from a host of positively wondrous folk the likes of Chloe, Jason Kendig, Reza Athar, Fairmont, Inigo Vontier, Tim 'Heretic' Clerkin, and has a hefty remix package featuring re-rubs from  Damon Jee, Jamie Blanco and label boss Bird Of Paradise himself. You can buy 'Overawed' on Juno, here.

Oh aye, not content with knocking great records out at the drop of a hat, our Michael has also been busying himself on the old 1's and 2's recently. He's recorded a cracking new mix for the good folk at the 44,100Hz Social Club too which you can listen too and download right here!



Follow Force Majeure on Facebook, here.
Follow Force Majeure on Soundcloud, here.

Till next time.
Big love. Mark. X

Thoughts On Love And Smoking Podcast #17 * Zootime Edit.

It's always nice to get something great which has been unsolicited. For approximately every 10,000 "Yo! Check out my mixtape!" messages I recieve, it appears that around 2 are listenable and only 1 is any good. This mix from mysterious Dutch DJ/producer 'Zootime Edit' fits firmly into the later category. A welcome surprise which I'm more than happy to chuck into the TOLAS podcast cannon.
In his own words, "I'm Vincent, zOoTiMe, dj, producer and video ediTor, living in the nothern rural part of the Neverlands caLLed Fryslan. There's aloT that enthousiams me, not gonna go there. Enjoy ze thoughts, PEACE!"
Drawing his influences from diverse artists such as Charles Bals, Albion, Jan Schulte, Hans Reuschl, Danny Wolfers as well as the Commodore Amiga 500, he's released records on a number of industry heavyweights like Nein Records and my old mate and sometime studio partner Mick Clarke's label, Flight Recorder.


The mix itself is a real beauty. Ducking and weaving across countless genres maintaining an impressive energy level without wearing the listener out and leaving you breathless. It showcases a real love of all music and a lightness of touch sometimes missing in the days increasingly dominated by heavy electronica and bludgeoning house. But don't take our word for it. Sit back in the sun and let this one wash over you. Cool waves. X

Follow Zootime Edit on Soundcloud, here.
Check out his Youtube channel, here.



Till next time.
Big love. Mark. X

Oli Warriner * Humans Go Hungry EP.

A light sprinkling of nepotism never did anyone any harm, and as such we we're more than happy to find that fellow Northerner and close friend of TOLAS Oli Warriner, was returning to the Night Noise label to release his frankly wonderful new EP 'Humans Go Hungry' later this month so we could indulge in some fawning praise for the fellow Newcastle native.
Oli has managed to take time out from his busy DJing schedule to put together a suitably large and ambitious release full of twists, turns and all kinds of digital surprises along the way. As cerebral as it is energetic, the package unfolds over 6 tracks of electronic lushness with remixes coming in the hirsute form of Ian Blevins, the moody guise of Jo 'Bird Of Paradise' Howard and rising star Buran (who also follows this remix very soon with a full release on Night Noise).

Humans Go Hungry by Oli Warriner is released on June 19th .

Check out Oli's other work on Soundcloud, here.



Till next time.
Big love. Mark. X

Thoughts On Love Smoking Podcast #16. Headman/Robi Insinna (Relish)

The work of Artist, DJ, producer and Relish label owner Robi Insinna will no doubt be familiar to anyone reading this. Alongside seminal artists like LCD Soundsystem, Soulwax, Black Strobe and Trevor Jackson's criminally underrated Playgroup project, Robi in his Headman alias helped forge the early 2000's disco-punk aesthetic. His debut single 'It Rough', and it's plethora of remixes released way back in 2001 on Gomma was one of the tracks responsible for the whole scratchy post-punk electro scene which pretty much dominated club and fashion culture at that time. He started the Relish label soon afterwards initially to function as the home to his Manhead alter ego and as a reaction to his many trips round Europe digging for records when he had constantly discovered new labels and artists from the late 70’s and early 80’s and had a vision to create something that combined all his passions of music, visuals and style.
It's this passion for aesthetics which was the thread that tied his work together and marked the label out as something a little different from a lot of the more throwaway moments from that scene. Robi's recordings and his nascent Relish label had an artistic premise behind them which was perhaps lacking in the other one-man labels. Since then Robi's career has gone stratospheric, DJing across the world producing and remixing the likes of Roxy Music, The Gossip, Franz Ferdinand, Richard Fearless, Nitzer Ebb, The Units, Unknown Cases, A Certain Ratio,  Gina X and Klein & M.B.O to name check just a handful. As well as that he's released 5 critically acclaimed solo albums under his Headman alias and another record as Manhead.
Relish still paints itself as somewhat of a project rather than a label, with a defined ethos. The last Headman album came in an artbook format, Screenprinted and hand numbered in a limited edition of 100 and The 6 EP III, released in 2015 with its accompanying prints and visuals is a prime example of Robi and Relish's mission statement.
After a rich run of form last year, peppering 2016 with some of it's most solid dancefloor moments 2017 is turning out to be yet another year of note with the release of the second 'Best Of Relish' compilation and French wunderkind Mondowski's second Relish single 'Surfin' Hell' last month, the much in demand producer and selector follows those up with the latest roundup from his ever essential label on Relish Vol 5 on the 23rd of June. There's no rest for the wicked or the wickedly talented it seems!

And so we come to the meat and bones of this thing. The mix! We've been talking to Robi about things for a while now and him putting something together for the podcast series. We thought it would be cool to do something a bit different for a change and as such, Robi has very kindly recorded a recent live set he played in Berlin @ Griesmühle for the WRONG ERA party on the 15th April. We're over the moon that Robi took time out and recorded this specially for us and even happier that it's an absolute killer of a mix!!
Dive in!! X



As usual, due to Soundcloud beeing moody with allowing downloads, you can grab the mix (and all our other podcasts) from our HearThis.at site, below....



Follow Headman/Relish on Soundcloud, here.
Check out the Relish website, here.
Headman/Relish on Facebook.

Till next time.
Big love. Mark. X

Bullshit the media blames on the working classes: #1 Racism.

Occasionally you come face to face with an argument that riles you in its offensive stupidity before you can quite pinpoint exactly why. This particular argument comes up a lot, in one form or another: “immigration is rough on working class people; rich people like having nannies and gardeners and cheap food, but working class people are pissed off that the foreigners took their jobs. I’m personally not one of those nasty intolerant people, but won’t someone think of the poor working class people, it’s a lot for them to cope with.”
We see it from both sides of the political divide; we see it in the way the EDL are mocked more for their bad spelling and bad haircuts than for their fascism. We see it in the constant assertions from the media that there’s some innate conflict for the Labour party over immigration; the liberal bisexual hippy woman Guardian reader in Islington versus the traditional working class white man on a council estate dichotomy. (There are clearly no bisexuals, women, non-white people or hippies in council estates. Nor are there any racists in Islington. Media fact for you.)
Julia Hartley-Brewer from the Daily Express came out it with again on Question Time last month, but it’s not even her comment that’s triggered this post, really. It’s only because she put it in such honest language that the full offensive absurdity of it hit me. I’ve been feeling my skin crawl when people on the left and the right have implied the very same things for a long time.
We need to stop accepting the simplistic assumption that racism and xenophobia are somehow working class phenomena when in fact these things are top down evils. There’s plenty of both among journalists and media owners, many with salaries north of £100,000 a year, wealthy MPs, and even the very pinnacle of the British class system – the Royal Family.
It’s also the narrow dismissal of what immigrants bring to the country – indeed, the implicit conditionality of a migrant’s humanity being founded in what they “bring” to the country, for “our” benefit – that irks me. The insinuation that you’d only be pro-immigration if you had an immigrant as a gardener, but not if you had immigrants in your class at school or in your local A&E or living in your street is saying that immigrant communities are great at making exotic food and make lovely nannies, but they’re not so jolly to actually live alongside. That is a profoundly unpleasant thing to say. Maybe your best friend at school is an immigrant, or the child of an immigrant. Maybe your neighbour who feeds your cat when you’re away is an immigrant. Maybe your partner is an immigrant. But these experiences are all erased by that kind of rhetoric.
It reminds me of Richard Littlejohn’s sneering assertion that Jack Monroe couldn’t possibly be working class or be making cheap simple recipes that are useful to people without much money because poor people “don’t eat pasta, they eat spaghetti out of tins.” In other words, if you don’t fit the stereotype of what an extremely rich journalist, who mostly lives in a different country anyway, thinks a poor British person must live like, then you’re clearly some kind of fraud. That is a very special level of arrogance.
I am tired of seeing rich people project their own xenophobia and racism on to working class people. Can’t they at least take responsibility for it?
Are there racist working class people? Obviously. To say nothing of the fact that people have complex, nuanced views about things. People may think immigration is too high in some areas but low in others. People may think immigration should be recorded better but not necessarily cut. People may think immigration would be fine if minimum wage regulations were always enforced but find it hard to believe that is a reality that will ever materialise. But racism is top down, and it always has been. Is racism and xenophobia uniquely working class, or even disproportionately working class? No.
We might instead ask: does immigration disproportionately have a negative impact on working class people and poorer communities? Yes, it probably does. In fact, it would be surprising if it didn’t because pretty much everything else does. Of course working class people aren’t sharing equally in the economic benefits that immigration brings. That’s hardly a problem with immigration. It’s a problem with economics.
Perhaps that’s the thing that’s really enraging to me. The fact that a whole class of people can notice how immigration impacts the guy living on a council estate much more harshly than a wealthy lady living in Kensington, then identify the problem as immigration, not the differences in the lives and opportunities between those two individuals.
After all, if you took away all the immigration from Britain, those two hypothetical lives would still be grossly unequal. But if you tackled the inequalities between them, you might just mitigate some of these so-called “problems” with immigration at the same time. Radical I know, but maybe that is where our anger should be directed.

Till next time.
Big love. Mark. X

Thoughts On Love Smoking Podcast #15. Robert Bergman (Rush Hour/Dekmantel)

Robert Bergman is your favourite DJ’s favourite DJ, or so his tongue in cheek biography reads. But all jokes aside, it’s not far off the mark at least in Amsterdam . A mainstay of the cities vibrant club culture, Robert brings a huge amount of experience to the (turn)table. A local lad and lynchpin at one of Amsterdam's (as well as Europe's) premier record shops, Rush Hour and member of the Dekmantel line up since 2013, Robert has also been a regular guest playing at the likes of Trouw and De School, raising eyebrows and carving out something of the reputation as one of the scene's more forward looking selectors.

Growing up as a music obsessed kid in Holland and finding himself spending an unhealthy amount of time in Rush Hour refusing to leave their store, he ended up becoming something of a protege of the label's Amsterdam shop – so much so that they eventually gave him a job. Since then Robert has continued to feed his insatiable thirst for music in all shapes and forms, becoming an incredibly knowledgeable crate-digger and well-respected DJ in the process. He regularly plays at clubs and festivals all over the world with the Rush Hour crew and recently, after releasing on cult labels like Trilogy Tapes, Dog In The Night and Clone he's been stepping up his work in the studio too launching a new imprint 'Brew' to house his weird and wonderful analogue techno with the first couple of releases coming from Bergman himself. Crucially, his sets always push the boundaries of what is considered club music. A skill he acquired while collecting insane amounts of music.
Robert's life really is music. He produces, collects, DJs and studies music and he is opinionated; the guy actually graduated in musicology while partying at ADE. There are no restrictions in what he loves, as long as it is good. He's just constantly making a noise that he wants you to love and this passion is more than apparent in the wonderful cosmic journey around the sci-fi tinged corners of his record collection which he's put together with this utterly sublime mix for us.

Simply press play and blow your mind. X

Due to Soundcloud being a dick, you can now download the mix, as well as all our previous podcasts, from our HearThis.at page below. X


Till next time.
Big love. Mark. X