Monday, 15 July 2013

Ivan Smagghe & Andrew Weatherall: For (social) club use only.

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You're living in the distopian, urban wasteland yeah? WELL THIS SHIT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE! The Complete guide to 'Gangsta slang',,,, Ashington style,,,,,

1. Assassassination: a gangland hit on a rivals arse.
2. Biddy: An older gangster who dons a floral dress and has his hair blue-rinsed in order to display his elevated status within the gang heirarchy.
3. Blongin': Something both lengthy and ostentatious, such as a gold hosepipe.
4. Chalet: Ones home.
5. The Bronx: Wallsend.
6. Chevy Chase: Being persued by 5-0 in a Chevette.
7. Crisps: Crisps.
8. Danger Trumpet: A gun. ("I be parpin' 'you are dead' on my danger trumpet" - 'I Am Hard' by 50 Cent.)
9. Elsie: A gangsters winkie.
10. Fart One Off: To drop a heavy rhyme ("Causin' bubbles in yo bath when I fart one off" - 'Pass The Soap' by Jay-Z.)
11. Fifi: An effeminate 'Dawg.
12. Gang Banger: a sausage-like gangsta.
13. Goin' Margot: To go absolutely apeshit in manner similar to Penelope Keiths character in 'The Good Life'. ("You keep frontin' like Briars, I'm goin' Margot on yo' ass" - 'Naff Off' by Nas.)
14. Jiggy: A wig made of jelly. ("I rock a blackcurrant jiggy 'neath a cashmere kangol!" - 'Ponce Strutt' By Snoop Dogg.)
15. Ye Olde Boobe Shoppe: A prozzer.
16. Scone Vouchers: Money ("Got my stack of scone vouchers, where the fucks my clotted cream ho'?" - 'Cream Tea Thuggin'' By Noreaga')
17. Water Pistol: A makeshift gun made of ice, often used in a prison fight.
18. Pebble Dash: A crackheads fevered sprint to their local dealers house.
19. Mr Kippling: A drug dealer who possess some exceedingly good crack.

And if that shit isn't enough for you here's a mix that we've I've had on steady rotation since it energed back in December '12. Ivan Smagghe and Andrew Weatherall going back to back over almost 4 hours at Bigfoot Strikes. Big.

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