Tuesday, 23 July 2013

About the author.

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For years, Mark has pronounced the word 'Faux' as 'Fox'. Which doesn’t sound like that big of a deal until you step into a PETA meeting and announce to everyone in the room to 'relax' cause the coat you are wearing is made "entirely out of Fox Fur".

He is the bloke who pulls up too far away from the McDonalds drive-through and has to open his door to lay his entire body through the window to get his food. He lives in the hearts of hardworking Northerners. Anytime a stressed-out factory worker prays for the strength to finish another shift or a immigrant African baby sees snow for the first time, he is there.

In a much more literal sense, he lives outside Newcastle. He is 40 years old and has won several international awards in fields as diverse as music, street boxing, writing and lovemaking. He is a personal friend of Johan Cruyff and Desmond Tutu. He is also a liar.

Some have referred to Mark as a renaissance man, not because he is skilled in many disciplines, but because he has a 15th Century understanding of science and geography, also he has gout and carries around a sword. He thinks Kanye West is an airline, Billie Halliday was a rest day and that The Bay City Rollers are an attraction at Alton Towers theme park.

He is available for children’s parties - not to read or entertain; he just has a lot of free time and enjoys cake. This is his web-log: a 'blog' where Mark breaks all the rules. ,,,, Well, not ALL the rules,,,, the whole arson rule is definitely not broken and nothing like tax fraud, murder or anything serious like that. When I think about it, he still follows an overwhelming majority of the rules.

Here endeth the lesson.

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